Problem:
Therapist: So you were able to break out of the old "both behind a wall" or "hammer and defend" patterns and have a real discussion. (They both nod in agreement.) You were able to step out of what we have been dealing with in this relationship. The pattern-as you have described it-is that Jon, you end up feeling hopeless and overwhelmed, and then you get irritable, or you shut down and numb out-yes? (He nods.) When really you need soothing and comfort but it is so hard to ask Beatrice for that. And then Beatrice, you understand what is happening as that you don't matter to Jon, and you get angry and try to "hammer" a response out of him. (She nods in agreement.) But more recently you just try to shut down too-'cause it's too hard to need someone who is so distant-yes? (She agrees.) Then the two of you feel alone-and scared. Dying of loneliness in the same bed, as you said in the last session. (The therapist gives a summary of the cycle and the underlying feelings accessed in previous sessions. In this case, this couple were part of my practice and also came in to do a live session in an externship.) Jon: Yes-and then when I do get up my courage and try-just a little-a tiny step to connect ... (He throws up his hands.) Therapist: Beatrice is unsure-she doesn't trust you-your reaching-so she moves away. Beatrice: We are not emotionally connected, so when he risks a little-there is no reaction. Need Assignment Help?