Discuss teh below:
Supervisor about an e-mail George sent to the CIO regarding a reimbursement form. The CIO feels George's message was rude and condescending. She is new to the company and unfamiliar with your reimbursement policy. She thinks George is scolding her.
George showed you the message:
"Reminder: Could you please fill in all of the parts of your T90 form so that you can be reimbursed by the company? You did not complete the fields for the credit card number or the date of your meeting. You also must remember to sign the form. Reimbursement will be made once the form has been completed."
George does not understand what went wrong. As the person responsible for processing reimbursements for such things as entertaining clients or corporate travel, he frequently sends messages like this to employees.
He does not want to offend anyone with his communication-especially someone as high ranking as the CIO. Because you are his friend and he knows you'll give him honest feedback, he has asked you to look at the message and give him some tips on what he might have done better. You read the message and see instantly that had George used active and passive verbs appropriately, the CIO might have received his e-mail more positively.
Help George identify active and passive constructions in his sentences and then rewrite the message so that active and passive voice are used appropriately to convey a professional, positive message. Be sure the message does not scold the reader.
1. Where does George use active voice in his sentences?
2. Where does George use passive voice in his sentences
3. Identify the active voice constructions that are appropriate and those that sound blaming or scolding. Then identify the passive constructions that are appropriate and those that lead to dull or less vigorous writing. Rewrite the message to reflect appropriate use of active and passive voice.