Assignment task:
Critique the following two sample student essays. As you critique them consider the following questions:
1. Consider the topic and purpose of each essay. Does each essay use the appropriate type of process (Instructional or Informational/Explanatory)?
2. In the Instructional essay, what point of view is used? Is this appropriate? Why or why not?
3. In the Informational/Explanatory Essay, what point of view is used? Is this appropriate? Why or why not?
4. Does each essay include all of the information the audience needs? Is any vital step or piece of information missing?
5. Does each essay present the steps in a clear, logical order? Are they grouped logically into paragraphs? Should any steps be combined or relocated? If so, which ones?
6. Does each writer use enough transitions to move the reader through the process? Should any transitions be added? If so, where?
7. Is each essay interesting? What descriptive details would add interest to the essay?
8. In your opinion, what grade should each essay earn? Justify your response.
Sample Essay 1:
No More Drips!
We all face many dreaded tasks in this life, but none are more dreadful than trying to fix a leaky faucet. Leaky faucets seem to have a mind of their own. They even seem to drip louder when the person who is to fix them is in the room. Obviously, the task of stopping the drip of a faucet while retaining your sanity can be difficult, but with perseverance and a bit of luck, you can say that your truly the king of the kitchen.
The first step in stopping the drip of a kitchen faucet is to ignore the drip. Try to convince yourself that the faucet really is not dripping. This will make you feel better while at the same time start preparing you for the job. This waiting game can go on for a good many days, but the fun ends when you see your daughter up on her chair, sticking her tongue under the faucet to catch the drips. You are instantly knocked back into reality, and the dread of fixing the faucet is at hand.
Do not wait for many days with the knowledge of a dripping faucet on the formost of your mind. This will surely lead to permanent insanity. The job must be accepted and faced as a man. So start by taking every screw, washer, and threaded piece or plastic off that was ment to come off. Then hastily put it all back, realizing that the water has to be turned off first. Once the water is off, take all the faucet apart. Take everything that will come off off. Try and find the worn-out piece of plastic while all the time despising the man that invented washerless faucets. Once you have found the piece that appears to be worn out, take it to your friendly hardware store. He will instantly tell you he is out, but that it is on order. He will not tell you where he thinks one would be in the town, so go to another hardware store and another with the same results. Finally, go to one of your local Westlake stores and be waited on with a smile. You probably will find the undescribable little plastic thing there, but expect the price of the item to cost you an arm and a leg. Take the new plastic part home and swear that you will never go to another hardware store again but only to Westlake. Install the part into the faucet while the doubts as to whether that was the faulty part or not begin to creep into your mind. Remember not to tighten any plastic part too tight when reassembling the faucet, or they will strip out. Once the faucet is put back together, the time of truth approaches. As you turn on the water, nothing happens. Then you remember that you need to turn the water back on. Once this is done and the water is streaming out of the faucet, realize that the good feeling that has overcome you should be kept in check because you have not succeeded at your task until the faucet decides not to drip. Reaching toward the faucet to turn it off remember all the trouble that you went through to just get the faucet apart, remember the trouble you had finding the part, remember the price of the part, and remember the agony that was and still is present as to whether it was the right part or not. Stop reaching and say a little prayer, not so much to God but to the allmighty faucet. When you finish, bravely reach and turn off the faucet. The drip will most likely stop, if it does not, the wrong replacement part was bought, which can be nerve-racking.
Usually the drip will stop and life will go back to normal after a few days. But, just as soon as your life is seemingly normal and tranquil, there will be lurking in the shadows of the kitchen a faucet, that is trying desperately to wear out an expensive little piece of plastic, so it can once again have dominion over your time, money, and piece of mind.
Sample Essay 2:
The Monitoring Method
Diabetics must perform certain tasks in order to maintain control of the disease. Along with following a calorie-controlled diet and taking some form of insulin, a glucometer should be owned by diabetics for the monitoring Of their blood sugar level. Evaluating the glucose level requires little time and effort, ultimately giving prompt, accurate results as long as the diabetic follows certain steps.
In order to complete the procedure, the diabetic must first prepare the machine and collect the supplies for this testing process. The machine needs to be turned on in order to warm up. While this is happening, the diabetic should obtain an alcohol swab, a glucostic, a clean poker, and a clean wipe-off pad. After setting these materials near the glucometer, enough time has elapsed for the machine to be warmed up, and the calibration stage can begin.
There is a special stick specifically designed for calibrating the machine. It is a long grey strip of plastic with a block of glued-on glucose at one tip. The diabetic places the calibration stick in the hole designated for the glucostic in the machine, then holds the start button down. As he does this, he watches the built-in timer count down until the seconds disappear from the display screen. A second after the numbers vanish, another numeral between seventy and eight-four should appear in the display window. If not, the calibration stage should be repeated until an acceptable digit does show, and then the sterilization segment can take place.
Sterilization is the quickest--but most. important--phase of this glucosetesting procedure. First, a glucostic is removed 'from the aluminum-foil-sealed pack and placed with the blood-receiving end up on a flar clear surface. Then a new poker must be affixed tightly in the penlet, which is the object used to withdraw blood. After the penlet is properly assembled, the diabetic wipes his fingers, excluding the thumb or pinky, with an alcohol swab, and then dries it with a clean towelette or tissue, making the finger ready for the next stage.
The poking of the finger is not as dreadful as it sounds. The penlet makes the sticking easy, quick, and painless. The diabetic carefully places the hole in the cap of the sticker on his finger. Then he presses the button on the top of the penlet, allowing the needle to quickly and lightly pierce the finger. As soon as a drop of blood is visible, the person squeezes the finger to enlarge the drop and turns the finger upside down.
Now the actual testing process can commence. As soon as there is a large enough blood drop to cover the appropriate end of the glucostic, the diabetic picks up the strip and places the blood on the end of the stick with the yellow padding, pushing the start button to activate the timer. Beginning at sixty and counting down, the machine is internally preparing to give a reading. As soon as the machine reaches twenty-three seconds, a beeping noise will sound with each countdown until twenty seconds is reached. This "bleep" informs the diabetic that he has twenty seconds left to blot the glucostic twice on the tissue, put it in the necessary hole, and receive a reading. After the blotting is completed,. the strip placed in the hole, and zero seconds remain, the display will show absolutely nothing for one second, and then the results of the blood sugar test will emerge in the display screen.
Monitoring the glucose level of a diabetic thus can be accomplished quickly, simply, and painlessly in less than one minute with a minimum amount of work required. As soon as the machine is calibrated, the supplies are handy, and the diabetic's finger is sterile and poked, the testing procedure itself is elementary and quickly completed. Not only is this fast and convenient, but for many people it can be life-controlling and life-saving.