Review the given Essay and provide feedback.
Relationships are when two people decide to get to know each other better in preparation for a future together. Unlike the olden days when parents used to pick spouses for their children and get them married into a permanent divorce, the day's relationships can occur anytime no care on age or having introduction to either parents. Relationships these days occur even between the youngest children. Kids of my age tend to be involved with each other with the smallest hint of liking each other and this leads to interest to sexual intercourse causing pregnancy and child birth. Most students these days between the ages of 14 to 18 are either a mother or a father to one kid or more, most conceived willingly as they experiment. Sex between them is mainly due to curiosity or a sign that they want to show how much they are committed in a certain relationship.
It said that 3 in ten American girls get pregnant once or twice before they are 20. Being a teen mom causes the following problems to the pregnant teen,
They tend to drop out of school in order to take care of their children and within a short period ends up being pregnant again.
Teenage mothers and fathers tend to go into a state of depression as they finally get separated from their age mates, mostly the girls and if they do go back to school, they get a lot of stress, from trying to take care of the child and their studies therefore going into a state of depression.
Tend to spend the rest of their lives alone since the teen fathers never intend on marrying any of them unless they are lucky.
Some if they end up going back to school tend to gain their college digress at the age of 30-40.
Teenagers, mostly girls who get pregnant tend to be isolated from others and if the family is strict, they tend to throw them out to take care of their children alone and without any support, if lucky they can get support from the guy, they end up being a lost cause and stuck into illegal business in order to take care of their children such as prostitution.
Babies born by teenage moms tend to have health issues since they don't have the proper care from their teen moms. Teen moms tend not to be ready and mature for child birth and are also prone to a lot of complications due to less care and can become anemic and or develop preeclampsia (this is a condition related to high blood pressure), also lose of wait as they prepare to take care of the child that they are not emotionally or financially prepared. Some don't even have the financial support to support the child therefore need a lot of help from their family.
Teenage mothers are encouraged to seek medical attention throughout the pregnancy and they can decide on what action they can take with the child, like giving the child for adoption if they do not want it. They can also make to keep the child with the support of their families. Social services may also get involved to help with the schooling and searching for employment of the teen mother.
Some parent's nature of parenting may also cause the child involvement in relationships and therefore becoming pregnant. Some parents tend to be so busy they never see the changes or get involved with their children's life. After small warnings, they leave the teenager alone and this may cause the teenager to be in a relationship so to get some of the little attention they don't receive from their parents. Parents are advised to watch out for what their children actives as ere, advise them on sexual matters, consequences of being in a relationship too young or if they support the child's dating, they are advised to meet the partners and offer healthy sexual advice if the children are active.
It is wise for the parents to become involved in their children's stand to be involved in my life activities., help in their a=education, take an interest in their relationships and advise them on their sexual life since most of them are not ready to abstain. Social media has also become the main cause for these teenagers getting involved in the sexually activity. The moment one teen stated hoe he ire she is enjoying their relationship [online, it creates an interest din others making them want to experiment to. Social media has increased a lot of peer pressure among the teenagers and this becomes a bad influence to tethers.
My parents have a very keen intreset5t in my daily life activities, who my friends are and what I my education is all about. They also have a strict no dating policy and are clearly against dating art my age. While most of my age mates are already parents, I do appreciate the strong no dating under my roof policy that my parents make sure we follow since it keeps us safe from trying out and ending up as teenage parents. Most kids gets access to social; media which influences their drive to sexual activities but I have limited access and always have a talk with my parents once in a while. They helped me understand the consequences of being in a relationship at my age and also advice on me waiting till I have a career before planning families and to take care not to have a family at my age. As a matter fact if we compare the statistic, according to the Department of Defense, in 2012, there were 3,374 total reports of sexual assault in the military (Lasker). The DOD estimates that this number represents less than 13 percent of the actual assaults, making the total number of military rapes and sexual assaults in excess of 26,000 for the year-a number the pentagon says is "unacceptable". This is a 6% increase from the last two years (Lasker). The military is allowing rape to be "the social norm." Dozens of women interviewed spoke about a culture where men "act entitled" to sex with female troops. One joked that rape is part of the job description. This rape culture in the military is not only a problem for women. It is even affecting men in the military. According to the documentary The Invisible War, 1% of men who join the military are raped.
This seems like a small amount, but it is equivalent to about 20,000 (Dick, The Invisible War). Men suffer even more than women because of the homophobic nature of our culture. These men feel that their dignity is taken away from them. This problem seems to be happening even before joining the military. Sadler's article explains that a navy study found that 15% of incoming recruits attempted or committed rape before entering the military (Sadler).
The issue with rape in the military can go back to the fact that nothing is being done to punish those who are committing the assault. The military does its best to hide this problem that is happening from the public. Many victims say their rapists outranked them, and sometimes the perpetrator was the same official they'd have to report the crime to (Dick, The Invisible War). One woman who had been sexually assaulted reported the rape to her superiors, including a female officer, and was told to keep quiet. Other officers had even started hinting that they knew about the rape
The society and parents should be strict on their children behavior in order to help them with their growing urges and needs so that they can be able to help advise them on the vest next step.
Parents lack of concern with their children lives may become the main reason why the teens end up in sexual relationships with order men or their age mates without any protection or knowledge on sexual affairs since they are always way too young.
Being a teen mom may interfere with the girls education therefore there is need for parents to be involved in their children education. By emphasizing the importance of education in a girl's life, teenagers may be able to avoid being involved with others therefore reduce the chances of becoming a teen mother without any idea on taking care of her child. The moment a teenager realizes how important education is for them, the better the chances for them to avoid unhealthy relationships and concentrate on reading, and their career and wait for the right time to become a mother.
Teenage pregnancies may also have an impact in the society such as, may cause illiteracy as most girls tend to drop out, loss of government revenue as the money goes out to help the young mothers, a teenage mother also has to face social obligations such as may lose friends and not get good jobs, there is also lack of financial support causing a lot of difficult to the teenage mothers in the society, increased medical complications which have to be handled by the society therefore they have to take care of the teenage mom and her child top prevent death and a lot of homeless children in the society and many being left out at orphanages. There may be several emotional effects which may lead to suicide and allot of suicidal activities in a society may bring a negative impact in the society.
The Sexual Assault and Prevention Response is an office created to offer support for sexually assaulted victims when the proprietor is someone other than their spouses. It is a program designed for the United States Military service. This program is offered for adults in the military. Girls between the age of 18 and 19 are also given privilege by this program if they are in the military. It also provides support to the victims of sexual assault and their families. People in the military are offered training on SAPR and benefits in case of anything happening to them.
The individuals are assigned advocates who are trained in handling the sexual belated cases, these advocates are available 24/7 for the victims. Victims for sexual assault inure expected to make reports. Such reports can be restricted or unrestricted. Restricted reports are confidential and can be made with the SAPR advocate or the military chaplain so that they may assist and offer medical services to the victim and any other support that may be required. The other unrestricted report is made when the victim or his advocate needs for an investigation to the military base. This one can be reported to law enforcement and health chaplain or the medical examiner in the base.
These services are mostly offered to military workers not everyone and does not always apply for most teenagers.
CONCLUSION
The society should be involved in their teenager's lives and offer advices on real ion ships and consequences of being teenage parents. The parents should take an interest on what is occupying their children's mind, what they are interested in and who they rear involved with. Since it can be hard to avoid them being in a relationship, it is advisable to get involved min the teenagers relationships and teach them the importance of proper sexual protection means, consequences of being a teenage mom and how them being young would become a problem for their children in the future.
Being pregnant does not mean the family and society should abandon the teen mothers. It is wise to give them moral and emotional support if not financial. Parents should help the teen mothers go back to school and show them the need to be careful and avoid them getting pregnant again before they are ready to support their children. Being a teenage mom is not the end of the world, it should be a chance to change and give their children a better life and not make the same mistakes.
REFERENCE
Teenage Births; Outcomes for Young Parents and Their Children's. Retrieved from www.scaany.org.
Sexual Assault and Prevention Response. Retrieved from
https://www.sapr.mil/index.php/victim-assistance/dod-policy/
Also retrieved from www.sapr.mil
CDC. (September 16,2015). Depression Among Women of Reproductive Age. Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/reproductivehealth/depression/
Kim, T. H., Connolly, J. A., & Tamim, H. (2014). The effect of social support around pregnancy on postpartum depression among Canadian teen mothers and adult mothers in the maternity experiences survey. BMC Pregnancy and Childbirth, 14, 162.https://doi.org/10.1186/1471-2393-14-162
Tracie, A. O. (2007). Child Abuse and Adolescent Parenting: Developing a Theoretical Model from an Ecological Perspective.. Journal of Aggression, Maltreatment & Trauma, 14(3), 89-105.
WebMD. (September,2014). Teen Pregnancy: Medical Risks and Realities. Retrieved from https://https://www.webmd.com/baby/guide/teen-pregnancy-medical-risks-and-realities?page=3
Feedback
Thanks for this draft! You're off to a good start in tackling such large and important issues--though this feels more like a standard academic researched essay as compared to a creative nonfiction piece in this version, I am happy to see that you have a good framework to work from.
I would definitely advise you to focus in your topic a bit more--I felt like I was pulled in several different directions, even though I could see how you were relating them together. For me, the most interesting component was about you and your parents. I wanted to see more of that dynamic from the very opening paragraph on forward. In this type of nonfiction, which is different from academic writing, you can begin to tell your story in an engaging way using storytelling techniques. It seems like the way that your parents raised you is a good system for preventing teenage pregnancy and teaching teenagers rules and boundaries when dealing with the opposite sex.
In your next version, you can focus more on yourself. Tell a story about the way your parents raised you to be so respectful and careful with your relationships. You can make the reference to the teen pregnancy rates and offer solutions, but the stakes of this piece might need to be more personal than societal. I'm not quite sure about the military component--I would think that you can cut it, again, and focus more on your story. Pepper your story with well-placed facts. Remember the different types of subgenres in nonfiction writing. I would think that this is a feature essay. Go back and review the qualities needed in a feature essay. The other thing to keep in mind is that this type of writing focus around a human face or other sort of interpersonal connection. We attach ourselves to stories much more than we do research. Tell a story. Use the research to help shape your story. I look forward to more, and please let me know if you'd like any more guidance in reshaping this piece for your next draft. Thanks again, and I look forward to more--more about you, your parents, your relationships!