Portfolio Exercise
Revise the following emails to make them more effective. Focus on changes that will help you get what you want and maintain the best possible relationship with your readers.
1. To: All employees (you are the Operations Manager)
Re: Littering
For some time now, smoking has been strictly prohibited within five metres of the Main Building entrance. DO NOT SMOKE anywhere near the doors!
Some of you still insist on smoking and have been doing so inside this area. As a result, the areas near the rear exit and around the picnic tables are constantly littered with smoking-related debris (filter tips, half-smoked cigarettes, empty lighters, etc.), creating an infernal eyesore and making more work for me and my staff, who have to keep cleaning up this mess.
Starting Monday, sand buckets will be provided outside the rear doors and in the picnic area. Use them!
To: All employees
Re: No smoking for all employees near the doors!
Employees are kindly reminded not tosmoke anywhere near the doors as smoking has been prohibited within five metres of the main building entrance.
We noticed that some of you has been smoking inside this area and left smoking- related debris such as fitler tips, half-smoked cigarettes near the rear exit and around the picnic tables. Thus,it created occasional eyesore and work for us to clean up the litters.
Starting Monday, you may usethe sand buckets that we provided near the rear exit and around the picnic tables.
2. To: HR Manager
Re: Personal leave request
I have three days of personal leave saved up and am asking your permission to take off from work next Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday (April 21-23).
As you probably have heard, I've been having a lot of family problems lately. My son was recently arrested for drug possession, and my wife is talking about leaving me and taking the cat with her. I really need a few days off to try to get my home situation straightened out.
Please approve this request. I'm begging you.
To: HR Manager
Re: Personal leave for family issues
I would like to request a leave of absences for a period of three days from next Monday to Wednesday.
I have been having a lot of family issues lately as my son was charged for drug possession, and my wife is going toleave me and take the cat with her. As a result, I need a few days off to try to the alleviate the situation.
I would be supremely thankful for your approval.
3. To: Operations Manager (you report to him)
Re: Testing all of our employees for illicit drugs
Just to let you know that you'd better forget about the random drug-testing policy you announced in your memo yesterday. It's a dumb idea that will never work. All the drivers are angry about it, and there are a lot of questions that your memo left completely unanswered! From what I hear, people in other departments have a lot of questions too. Better clear some of this stuff up right now or nobody's ever going to sit still for it.
To: Operations Manager
Re: Please cancel the drug-testing policy and reply to all employees' questions.
I suggest you leave the random drug-testing policy announced in yesterday's memo alone because I don't think that is going to work and all the drivers do not support it as well. There are a lot of questions in your memo weren't answered yet, let alone numerousquestions from people in other departments that I have heard. Therefore, I really recommend you clear some of those up before our people start getting impatient for it.