Assignment:
Discussion Response Instructions:
The student must then post 1 reply of at least 350 words. Each reply must incorporate at least 1 scholarly citation in current APA format. Any sources cited must have been published within the last 12 years. Acceptable sources include our textbooks, scholarly articles, and the Bible.
Reply to Tirzah Hall
Communication, Decision Making, and Conflict Resolution- Parts 2 and 3
Dr. Scalise has had very meaningful concepts in the videos, but one of the most meaningful concepts to me was the difference between being responsive and reactive during conflict. Understanding disagreements are unavoidable in marriages, but it's the way the couples respond to the disagreements; if it will make the relationship weaken or will it strengthen it. A reactive response comes from the emotions that drives frustration, or anger, unlike responsive approach which we often have a problem with is, taking time to think about what you're going to say, listen carefully on purpose, and work together to come up with a resolution. In some cases we just what to argue and trying to prove who is right. As Dr. Scalise explained, conflict should never be a competition on who wins or lose because when one spouse loses per se, the marriage loses as well.
When you're being responsive, it promotes emotional safety, trust, and mutual respect. I believe if honest, most couples have reacted impulsively and said things that they didn't mean but will soon regret, which in turn can create resentment and the intimacy has been damaged. In contrast, when you respond in a thoughtful manner, this allows each spouse to feel heard and understood. Dr. Scalise emphasized that the goal is not to attack one another but learn to address the problem together. Sometimes couples view their spouse as the enemy, but couples should recognize it's the conflict itself is the enemy or problem. If it is looked at it from this perspective, it encourages teamwork and will strengthen the marital relationship.
The one method I believe can help couples to become more responsive is practicing active listening. Active listening is simply allowing the spouse to give their full attention without interruptions and seek understanding before they respond. When couples are truly listening, they communicated with understanding, empathy and validation. Active listening also gives the spouse an opportunity to express their thoughts and feelings without judgment, fear, criticism or becoming defensive. Lebow and Snyder (2023) explains, where there is a pattern of health communication, it contributes to a stronger relationship, an emotional connection, and effective resolution.
Taking a time out when emotions become overwhelming are a second method Dr. Scalise discussed. Dr. Scalise explains how stress levels increase and people become reactive because of their emotions and physiological responses. So, taking time out or just walking away for a few minutes and then return, this allows both spouses to be calm, gather their thoughts, and should be able to return to the conversation with self-control. Let's make something clear, a time out does not mean you are avoiding the problem at hand but it's about creating a space or opportunity to discuss it more productively. When taking a time out is used, this will help and prevent hurtful words and encourage respectful communication. The key here is when couples return to the conversation, they are more calm, more than likely to focus on the problem instead of blaming each other.
Scripture supports how you should respond instead of reacting emotionally. James 1:19 (King James Bible, 1769/2017) teaches believers to be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath." This verse should remind couples that listening is important and maintain self-control are qualities for a healthy relationship. When couples apply the biblical principles it brings patience, humility, and grace, even during difficult conversations.
Therefore, I believe when couples learn to be responsive than reactive, you have gained the most valuable skills any couple should develop. Healthy marriages come from the ability to navigate through conflict with respect, understanding and a shared commitment to strengthening the relationship. Need Assignment Help?
King James Bible, (2017). (Original work published 1769)
Lebow, J. L., & Synder, D. K. (2023). Clinical handbook of couple therapy (6th ed.). GuilfordmPress.