Problem:
Camille is a 31-year-old single woman in therapy for extreme shyness, a mild form of social phobia. She would like to get married and have children but knew she would not be able to do so without therapy to overcome her shyness. Her 30th birthday and her biological clock prompted her to seek therapy even though her family disapproved of the prospect. At that point, however, Camille was discouraged by her shyness and lonely enough to risk familial disapproval in the hopes that therapy would alleviate the anxious feelings she had whenever she tried to interact with another person. Like many people, Camille doesn't know what to say when she first meets someone, but for her, the interaction is much more stressful than for others who are just mildly shy. Camille's palms sweat; her mouth feels dry; and she feels as though she is being judged poorly by everyone, even those she is meeting for the first time. She is afraid that she is making a bad first impression. Even making telephone calls, including placing a food takeout order, is anxiety-provoking for her because, again, she feels as though she is being judged. Camille has no friends, and although she has a job in an office, she has minimal interactions with coworkers. Coworkers often describe her as difficult to talk to. When they attempt to strike up a conversation with her, she listens to them but does not respond, not because she is unfriendly or dislikes them, but rather because she is at a loss for words. Unfortunately, her verbal reticence is interpreted as disinterest, and she is left to eat lunch alone, even though she longs to join others. Even in occasional holiday family gatherings, where people surround her, she has known all her life, Camille is silent. This silence most likely began during childhood, as she was raised on the premise that children were seen and not heard. Both her parents were quite authoritarian, and her mother was especially critical. If Camille asked a question, her mother would answer in a way that made Camille feel stupid and implied that she should have known the answer. If she picked out her clothes herself, her mother would tell her what a poor choice in matching clothes she made. If Camille did not respond well to her mother's belittling jokes, it was Camille who didn't have a sense of humor. The few friends whom she developed were so uncomfortable at her house because of her parents' strict rules and her mother's critical nature that they eventually stopped coming. She modeled some of her mother's judgmental mannerisms, thinking that they were the correct ways to behave, but instead, they further ostracized her from her peers. Eventually, Camille grew up unsure of her feelings, socially unskilled, and with a sense of inferiority. During the course of therapy, she realized that her silence was probably a way of protecting herself from the perpetual criticism she encountered during childhood. She also became aware of the parenting style to which she was exposed and of which she had never been aware. Camille thought that her experiences as a child were the same as everyone else's until she discovered, during a group session, that other children were raised differently, by parents who were not as strict or rigid and who were more patient and understanding and not as critical. Up until this point, Camille idolized her parents, especially her mother, thinking that a strict upbringing was what children needed to develop into responsible adults. But this adoration also most likely developed because her mother had always portrayed herself positively as a martyr who worked hard to take care of her family. Her mother had a tendency to tell the family about compliments she might have gotten, but shrewdly failed to let on that anyone might feel negatively about her. When friendships were lost or family relationships went sour, it was always the other party's fault, and Camille's mother was the victim. Beyond this, because Camille rarely interacted with her peers, she had no comparison point for her parents or their parenting style. She therefore assumed that the interactions she had while growing up were normal and typical. During therapy sessions, not only did Camille examine her childhood experiences with her parents, but she also made progress in decreasing some of the anxiety she felt during interpersonal interactions. In addition, talking during therapy helped Camille develop her social skills. Camille made so much progress during therapy that even though she still felt somewhat shy and nervous about meeting other people, she brought up the possibility of joining a dating service. She knew that her parents would disapprove, having listened to them make statements about only losers joining such organizations. But since her coworkers were primarily female and since she did not especially like going to bars to meet men, Camille thought that a dating service might be an alternative way to meet potential dates. With her therapist's support, she did join a dating service and began to date. She still feels quite nervous before the dates, but the anxiety is not as bad as it used to be. Her therapist also suggested that she start some type of volunteer work to meet same-sex friends. Again, her parents were disapproving, indicating that it did not make sense to work for no pay. But again, Camille decided to take the chance. Although she still needs additional work on social skills and still needs to decrease her social anxiety, Camille is making progress in alleviating some of her symptoms of social phobia.
Application Questions:
Using May's existential analytic theory, analyze Camille's behavior by answering the following questions.
1. Use May's three modes of existence and his concept of alienation to explain Camille's lack of relationships. Need Assignment Help?
2. Use May's concepts of responsibility and authenticity to explain Camille's decisions to get therapy and join a dating service.
3. What is the primary task of the therapist, according to May? Find an example that illustrates it in the case.
4. What is neurotic anxiety, according to May? Find an example of it in the case.