Project description:
I would like to improve my dissertation by the university guidelines which I will upload later. Also my Supervisor read through the content page,the Analysis and Discussion and made the comment below which I would like you to take into account.
Dear Josephine,
I have had a look at the content page and at the Analysis and Discussion section and these are some points that came to mind.
1. It seems that you have put quite a bit of work in a thorough planning and organisation of the dissertation (or at least that’s what is coming I thought from the content page, which shows a clear structure).
2. The analysis of the responses from the questionnaires seems fair. The strength of your extrapolating from the views of the respondents to the much broader statements you make in the discussion depends on how you selected your respondents and how your sample may or may not reflect the generalising character in the Discussion (it also depends on how you link your primary data to the secondary data). What I am trying to say is that potentially (that is if your methodology section is strong, but I can’t yet comment on that) the discussion provides a valid analysis of the advantages and disadvantages international trade brings in general and in the case of Shanghai in particular.
3. I notice that a good section of the discussion is not referenced much. This is fine as far as the parts where it is you actually providing the analysis. Still, you make reference to various facts concerning developments in Shanghai that ought to be referenced (e.g. where you give figures about the drop in exports to European countries; where you give figures about the increase in the minimum wage etc.). It is good to offer some supporting sources for such claims. I didn’t seem to be the case, but if the rest of the dissertation is under-referenced like that, it could be problematic (so make sure that you acknowledge the sources of your information).
4. This is not a major thing, but you need to get to grips with the use of the direct article ‘the’. There are many sentences that where you need it, and it is absent.
All in all, from my limited read, it seems that this has ingredients for being quite a solid project.