Problem: Joanne is a 28-year-old biracial female who has been with her wife, Marie for eight years. Joanne and Marie recently wed and are considering becoming parents. Joanne wants to carry a biological child and use a male friend a donor. Marie wants to adopt but grudgingly has stated that she will consider a biological child only if they use an anonymous donor. Marie fully wants to be the child's mother as much as Joanne does. Marie is concerned the male friend Joanne wants to use might be in the child's life more that she desires.
How would I counsel this couple and what would I say to them? What would be my first objective in providing counseling? Would I bring both Marie and Joanne for counseling? Would I bring the male friend in also for counseling? Are Joanne and Marie ready to be parents? What is the right thing to do?