Problem:
In response to the following discussion post from a peer, what suggestions could one make to further develop their work? What techniques could be implemented to make the submission more appealing?
As I am revising my piece, there are definitely challenges that are coming up. The biggest challenge I am facing comes with the tone. In the beginning of my piece, I am conversational in how I discuss my relationship and towards the middle and end, I feel that it is a little more informational in tone. I think this will be remedied as I make more connections of my experience with those of the people I have interviewed as well as with the research. Another challenge that I have, which I received in feedback, is incorporating more dialogue. I agree, there is definitely room for more of it (and will also assist with tone), I am just trying to make sure that it fits and flows well with what it is I want to convey without feeling like it is drawing out the story or taking away from the main point.
Once I finish with these challenges, in order to get my story fully ready to submit, I need to flush out the good things that can come out of online dating. I think this will be remedied by the rest of the interviews that I have acquired, allowing for a more balanced view of how online dating is a great way to meet forever people. I think once I balance this point of view better and incorporate the rest of my edits, my piece will be submission ready.