Thesis statements.
Here are the instructions for our next graded assignment:
I will offer examples of 102-level thesis statements in the content folder. This is based on what you gather from In Defense of Food and other measures.
In 102, you're writing something similar to an "argument intro". You must include two sources of information in addition to your book. These can come from the book's bibliography, from a citation the book makes, etc. They can be journal articles or counter arguments. It doesn't matter. However, you need to start building multiple points of view.
By this time you must have formed an idea that you want to construct into a 6-8 page essay. It begins by forming a statement. What are you going to argue about? What do you want to convince your audience is true? Which sources are going to help you do that? One of them is your primary authority figure (Pollan). What beyond that have you gathered?
Students should note that pages 206-228 of Pollan's book contain an organized list of all his references and sources, places we can plumb. There is also a list of further reading on 229-30. Some of those resources, primarily the websites of public health movements, will contain further links and resources. They'll include data, methods, potential audiences, etc.
The following are all examples of students attempting to form thesis statements based off a reading from a different text than we're using. It had to do with best practices in education. Compare how these students attempted to solve this assignment. (I've included hyperlinks as examples. In a research paper, these would be cited in a Works Cited page, which you should include with your thesis.)
Carol
If we want to improve our local schools, we need to hire better teachers.
Bernhard
(Links provided for reference, but these would be cited as works)
Currently, only three schools in Berwyn see a majority of their students performing to standard on the ISAT, and only one school sees more than 60% of their students accomplishing this goal. If the citizens of Berwyn want to see a majority of their children perform to standard on the ISAT, they need to hire better teachers.
Jesse
According to ISBE Division of Assessment, the ISAT is a valid measure of student learning (31-35). The Chicago Tribune reported in 2013 that the majority of public school children in Berwyn were underperforming on the ISAT.
If the citizens of Berwyn want to see most of their children perform to standard, or to surpass state requirements on the ISAT, residents of school districts 98 and 100 need to accept a .5-.8% property tax increase to help fund the recruitment and hiring of graduates from the University of Wisconsin-Madison, Northwestern University and Indiana University Bloomington teachers colleges, three local schools consistently ranked among the top 25 colleges in teacher preparation. Those graduates generally demand salaries 20-25% higher than what Berwyn currently pays teachers.
Scores:
Carol has misunderstood the assignment and failed to follow directions. Her relative terms are undefined, and her thesis is almost an obvious statement. She has given this problem very little thought and does not demonstrate that she has learned anything by reading. Her solution to this assignment represents what I'll collect from about 25% of students who get to this point. Please don't be Carol.
Bernhard earns points for having a real goal (he defined "improve"), but he does not tell us what a "better" teacher is and assumes we understand what he means. We can't evaluate the statement if there's no definition of a relative term. Of course, in this argument there's no OPOV. He needs to appeal to one.
Jesse is on the right track. He spent time on this thesis, balancing it and thinking about it. While we need a source that explains where he got this idea about 20-25% higher salaries (I think he's guessing, personally), he'll work on that in the research paper. He has understood the purpose of the assignment, and he's in position to revise it, especially regarding the audience. "Citizens of Berwyn" is not a college audience; however, the Berwyn local government is, as are the people who determine what gets on referenda, etc.
Note that we can argue with Jesse and potentially challenge three things: 1.) the ISAT might be a valid test but not necessarily an effective measure of preparation for all types of training 2.) the money we are already contributing to our education coffers is being mismanaged and 3.) families and social conditions might be to blame, not teachers.
But that's the whole point. This is an argument. Jesse would have to anticipate these OPsOV and deal with them. In his final thesis statement, he should have to show us how he's going to approach these issues.
Students critical of the relative phrase "perform to standard" would be right if it were not attached to the ISAT. The ISAT explains what the standards are. Their standards are already defined for us.
So...to do well on this assignment, be like Jesse. Use authoritative sources of information and make the point that a college audience will entertain!
Here are some hints:
1.) Go back to read the Lisa vs Jane document. We want to avoid one of those strategies but attempt all of the other one!
2.) Go back to Discussion 2. The whole point of that discussion was for us to identify our own assumptions about heath. Can we see anything in there, from ourselves or one of our classmates, that Pollan's book and argument are speaking to directly? That's a place for a thesis statement. Remember, our goal is to change someone's point of view. What better place to start than at a point of view that we ended up adjusting ourselves?
3.) Consider the list of clichés that are most common in our culture when we engage in conversations about health.
These questions might help:
- Is it really cheaper to eat fast food than it is to eat whole foods? Can we measure this and present a point?
- Is it really true that grocery stores prioritize profits over our own health? Do all grocery stores treat their customers the same way?
- Why don't all schools have the same approach when it comes to teaching healthy lifestyle?
- How many people who live in the Cicero-Berwyn area actually use the land available near their homes to grow their own food? What can be done to give more people incentive to grow their own food?
Attachment:- questions_about_thesis.rar