Problem
In Couple Counseling session with Ken and Irene, what are the probing questions to ask them?
Ken (52) and Irene (37) are a re-married couple with their first baby who is 9 months old. They have been married for 4 years. Ken has been previously married with two children Jason (15) and Sue (13) who both visit every second weekend. Their mother Pam is dating and looks forward to having these child-free weekends. Irene divorced from her first marriage in her 20's without children from that relationship.
The baby has settled well into a routine, and Irene would like to return to her part time job. Irene's mother Jessie (68) has recently come over from Malaysia and is planning on living with them for 12 months as she is grieving the loss of her husband who died a year ago. Irene is really pleased that her mother can help out with the care of the baby and help facilitate her return to work but Ken is not keen on it. Ken's family reside in the UK.
Jason is having learning problems at school and was in trouble for stealing some money from his mother, Pam. As a result, Pam feels that Jason should stay with his father every weekend, to allow them to have more time together doing "male bonding" activities. Sue is quite precocious and spends a lot of time communicating on social media. Irene feels that Sue's dress is quite "tarty" and that she is too interested in her looks and appearance and not spending much time on her studies. Ken thinks that Irene is too uptight and needs to take things more easily with Jason and Sue.
Ken and Irene find themselves getting into heated arguments recently, due to all of these issues. When arguments occur, Ken usually withdraws into his study and nothing seems to get resolved. During COVID-19 Ken was working from home and Irene noticed that Ken was spending an increasing amount of time watching sports and engaging in sports betting. Irene wants Ken to step up and be more involved in his children's lives. Jessie, Ken's mother-in-law, has noticed Ken escapes into his study as the tension and conflict escalates in the home and she is worried about the impact this is having on her daughter.