Can you please fix my introductory paragraph. I need a strong thesis and better language:
Throughout time, people have always strived to become better people. There are many primary examples of how people in a society abide by to help them reach a privileged level of prosperity in life or discover new ideas about themselves that they by no means knew about. Through the ideas of freedom and following one's dream, one can lead a road to self discovery. Gregory Orr, the author of "Return to Hayneville" shows how his life was a road of self discovery and how he overcame the obstacles he faced. Janette Winterson, the author of "The World and Other Places", similarly shows his life as a flight to self discovery when he tries to follow his dreams starting from a young age. Both of these characters show that on their road to self discovery they needed a lot of patience and hard work. Furthermore these characters in their road to self discovery illustrated self discovery as a means to acquire insight to one's own character. For such self discovery, a positive attitude and adversity is necessary to gain a profound understanding of oneself and one's goals in life.