Exercise 1- Using Simple Language (Revise this paragraph to make it more understandable)
The consultant demonstrated how our aggregate remuneration might be ameliorated by modifications in our propensities to utilize credit for compensating for services. She also endeavored to ascertain which of our characteristics were analogous to those of other entities for which she had fabricated solutions. She recommended we commence to initiate innumerable modifications in our procedures to increase cash flow, which she considers indispensable for facilitating increased corporate health.
Exercise 2- Avoiding Clichés, Slang, and Buzz Words (Make this paragraph more understandable by eliminating clichés, slang, and buzz words)
At that point in time the corporate brass was under the gun; they decided to bite the bullet and let the chips fall where they may. They hired a head honcho with some street smarts who would be able to interface with the investment community. Finance wise, the new top dog couldn’t be beat. He was hard as nails and developed a scenario that would have the company back on its feet within six months. Now it was up to the team players to operationalize his plans.
Exercise 3- Using Positive Language (Revise the following paragraph to eliminate negative language)
We cannot issue a full refund at this time because you did not enclose a receipt or an authorized estimate. I’m sorry that we will have to delay your reimbursement. We are not like those insurance companies that promise you anything but then disappear when you have a claim. When we receive your receipt or estimate, we will not hold up your check. Our refusal to issue reimbursement without proper supporting evidence means that we do not have to charge you outlandish premiums for your automobile insurance.