Reread the given essay and fix the Comments.
Writing Strength:
You have some good description that can help the reader understand some of the ideas you want to convey.
Both the introduction and conclusion need development. The intro needs a clear topic sentence, supporting details that you will discuss in the paper and a clear thesis statement. Let's look at one of your sentences:
"The new regulations could have significant benefits for the nation."
This is a vague generalization that needs development. Add specific ideas to this sentence: why? How so? Turn it into a thesis by making a claim as well.
Likewise, the conclusion needs more specific details on the ideas you want to leave with readers and especially a clear reiteration of the thesis.
Proofread carefully for grammar and punctuation errors. Let's look at one of your sentences:
"The fossil fuels which burn to produce carbon and natural gas industries."
This is a fragment, which means it is incomplete: it is missing a clear subject and verb. Finish the sentence after "industries" by adding a verb and dependent clause. Rewrite it for better clarity.
Main Idea/Thesis
Get a clear thesis claim, and theargument you are making and then proving through the content of the essay.
Content Development
Develop content using more tangible examples that show the reader something rather than telling them something.
Summary of Next Steps:
• Develop the intro and the conclusion
• Proofread for grammar and mechanics
• Get a clear thesis claim
• Develop content with examples
Look for comments in your essay below.
The Essay topic is: The impact of Carbon Restriction
Attachment:- Essay-“The Impact of Carbon Restriction”.rar