Personal computers and all the software


Revise the memo below, correcting problems of passive voice- there are a bunch of these- dangling modifiers, lack of transitions, and other problems. 


TO: All Southwest Division Employees

Personal computers and all the software to support these computers are appearing on many desks of Southeast Division employees. After giving the matter considerable attention, it has been determined by the Systems Development Department (SDD) that more control should be exerted in coordinating the purchase of hardware and software to improve compatibility throughout the division so that a library of resources can be developed. Therefore, a plan has been developed by SDD that should be followed in making all future equipment selections and purchases. To make the best possible choice, SDD should be contacted as you begin your search because questions about personal computers, word processing programs, hardware, and software can be answered by our knowledgeable staff, who can also provide you with invaluable assistance in making the best choice for your needs at the best possible cost.

After your computer and its software arrive, all your future software purchases should be channeled through SDD. To actually make your initial purchase, a written proposal and a purchase request form must be presented to SDD for approval. A need for the purchase must be established; benefits that you expect to derive resulting from its purchase must be analyzed and presented, and an itemized statement of all costs must be submitted. By following these new procedures, coordinated purchasing benefits will be realized by all employees. I may be reached at Ext. 466 if you have any questions.

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