Assignment Problem: In class, we discussed four main functions of informative speeches. Which function(s) is being fulfilled by Jane Doe's presentation? What is the main thrust of the speech -the specific purpose (what does she want the audience to gain from listening to her information)? Justify/support your answer.
"Yo, Kevin. Man, what's up? Did you go to that party Saturday night? You did? Man, did you see that girl in the blue dress? Yea, man, she was cool, the girl was wild! I had been lookin' at her all night, man, when a slow song came on and I asked her to dance. I knew she liked me by the way she kept smiling and looking at me. She told me her name was "Jane" and so I said. 'Hey, Babe, why don't we go back to my room for a couple of drinks or something?' She said, 'Yeah,' man and I knew I was gonna make a move! Man, when we got back to my room, we sat on the bed and started kissin', then, man, when I started to lay her down on the bed, she started sayin' 'No.' I said, 'No? Hey, babe if this isn't what you wanted then why'd you come up to the room?' Man, she started crying and stuff after...You know girls don't want to seem too easy. But man, you could tell by the way she was lookin' in that dress she wasn't any virgin!... Hold on a minute, man." (Pause while the speaker clicks the phone to call waiting) "Hello?... Yes, this is he...Who?...Oh!...Jane...Hey baby, Yeah...You did what? Pressing charges? But...but...but...hello...hello...hello..."
"I met him at a party. He was really good-looking and had the nicest smile. I wanted to meet him, but I wasn't sure how. Then he came over and introduced himself to me. We danced and talked for a long time and found out that we had a lot in common. When he asked me to go to his dorm room for a drink, I didn't think anything of it, so I went. When we got there, the only place to sit was on his bed, so I did. He sat down next to me and after we'd talked a while, he kissed me. It wasn't bad, so I didn't stop him. But then, he pushed me down on the bed, I tried to get up and I told him to stop, but he wouldn't. He was so much bigger and stronger...I got scared and I started to cry. I froze and he raped me. When it was over, he kept asking me what was wrong...like what he did was okay...like what he did wasn't wrong! He drove me home and said he wanted to see me again. I'm afraid to see him again. I never thought anything like this would happen to me."
Date rape. What you've just heard was adapted from a brochure produced by the American College Health Association entitled Acquaintance Rape. Date rape-acquaintance rape-social rape-by any other name, it is still rape. We need to understand what it is, what causes it, and what its effects usually are. We need to know what we can personally do to keep date rape from happening, and what we should do if and when it does happen. First, what is date rape, and what causes it? Date rape is a forced or unwanted sexual relationship involving two people who know each other-who are friends or acquaintances.
Most of the time the female victim is on a "date" with the rapist. She has voluntarily gone with him as opposed to having been forcefully abducted. And, although she knows the man involved and may consider him a friend, she does not want and does not agree to a sexual relationship.
How can a social relationship, or a date, end up in rape? What are some of the causes of date rape? Date rape typically occurs because of sex role stereotypes and poor communication between two people of opposite sexes. Many people firmly believe that men are competitive and aggressive, and women are yielding and passive. When these stereotypes are treated as "just the way things are," then men may presume that men should be aggressive and forceful in relationships and that women should be passive and submitting. They turn a misinformed description into a prescription for behavior. There's also a potential for date rape when two people don't have a clear understanding of each other's sexual intentions and expectations. Date rape can happen because of mixed messages and learned violence. Mixed messages occur when a man, thinking a woman is playing hard to get, believes she really means "yes" when she says "no." Mixed messages may be communicated verbally such as through suggestive or flirtatious conversation -the verbal game playing that goes on at parties or over social media. Mixed messages can also be communicated nonverbally through body language or in many cases by the way a woman dresses. On television and in the movies violence is often shown as a way to solve problems, so some men feel it's okay to use "a little force" to get what they want from a woman. We've looked at what date rape is and some of the reasons why it happens, so now let's explore some of the effects of date rape. The female victim of date rape may experience a loss of trust - particularly in men -and find it difficult to feel comfortable in close relationships. I can speak from my own experience in saying that date rape does have a devastating effect on future relationships. It's hard to be open and warm and friendly because you're always afraid it will happen again. The victim may feel guilty because she thinks maybe she did something to cause it or because she thinks she should have been able to prevent it. These negative feelings can cause some victims of date rape to experience depression or sexual adjustment problems that call for professional counseling. The man may also be considered a victim -in a way, like a guy in my opening example who didn't seem to realize that "no" means "no" -period. He may not be able to understand or accept that what he did was wrong. In that sense, he is a victim of his distorted beliefs. And if the female presses charges, he too may suffer from the consequences.
Date rape is real, and it is a problem, but it's a problem we can do. A lot to keep from happening if both men and women learn how date rape can be avoided. One way to help prevent date rape is to always clearly express what you want before getting involved in a relationship with a person of the opposite sex. Know your limits. Beware of alcohol and drugs. It's hard to cope with a date rape situation. It's much harder to be in control if you're under the influence of these substances. Be aware of how much your date drinks, too. Avoid secluded places. Don't go to a beach, park, deserted bridge, or "make-out spot" with someone you've just met. Suggest meeting in public places like the mall or the movies when getting to know someone. Have your own transportation. Don't rely on your date for it (especially if you don't know him very well).
Drive your own car, double date, uber, or take the bus.
It's also important for each of us to know our individual rights and those of anyone we may be socially involved with. A woman may dress any way she pleases. If she is scantily clad and flirts, that doesn't necessarily mean "Let's do it!" Even if she lets things advance to the point of having sex she can change her mind at any point. It should not be assumed that if (1) "I paid for dinner!" or (2) we met at a beer party, or (3) we've had sex before, then it's okay to force someone into having sex.
Any instance of sexual assault, including date rape, should be reported to the authorities. Date rape is sometimes not seen as serious as "real rape" -or sexual assault by a stranger -BUT IT IS! Sometimes a woman thinks that she won't be believed if she reports the crime. She may be afraid that people will accuse her of "asking for it." But it is a crime, and it has to be reported.
Next, the victim should go to a hospital immediately. She should not shower, change clothes, douche, or even comb her hair! Finally, the victim should get some sort of emotional support, be it a friend, minister (whom I confided in about my situation), or if neither of these, there are rape crisis hotlines with compassionate counselors you can call.
Date rape, acquaintance rape, social rape, silent rape, or cocktail rape. By any name, date rape is and always will be considered a crime. So remember to be aware of what causes date rape so you will be alert to the danger signs. Know its effects before you let a dangerous situation go too far, and be aware that everyone plays a part in the control of date rape.