Fighting Compulsive Gambling Among Women
" Women are now the fastest growing population seeking help for gambling problems, and nearly one third of all problem gamblers are women. (Problem Gambler web). The percentage of Americans' population that is affected by compulsive gambling increases each year, especially in women. Gambling addiction which is also referred to, as compulsive gambling is an uncontrollable behavior that drives individuals to gamble. Most people find themselves addict to gambling due to their terrible experiences such as losing their close friends, family or the social status. They go into a gambling addiction to feel happy and have peace of mind. With time, compulsive addiction becomes like a natural cycle of their lives which is beyond their control. Two women Bachmann and Jennifer engage in compulsive gambling because they feel lonely, trauma emotional and there is no meaning in their life. Bachmann lost all her wealth, ended up in the court because of her debt, and she couldn't quit gambling. on the other hand, Jennifer succeeds on quitting gambling and now she helps other people to quit gambling. In order to fully understand these two different cases, I explore the similarity and difference factors causing gambling addiction; how gambling affected their lives and what remedy did Jennifer follow to overcome.
In the beginning, Bachmann and Jennifer share same cause of gambling which is feeling lonely. Also, Bachmann and Jennifer have different causes of getting gambling such as getting attention and genetic. First of all, Bachmann and Jennifer share same reason to get the first step in gambling which is felt lonely at home. Bachmann said "I was sitting at home, staring at the TV, so bored. My youngest daughter had started kindergarten and my two older daughters were in middle school, their lives filled with friends. My husband left for work at eight and didn't get home until six" (The Power of Habit 245). Jennifer on the other side said "As a mother of four with a husband on the road, I was left to take care of my children and manage our home. After many busy years, I grew tired and needed to find something to distract me from my loneliness" (A Journey of Success and New Friendships). Bachmann stayed alone at home all day because her kids are in school and they have their own lives also her husband came back home late; Jennifer spend all her life time take care of her kids and home also her husband keep traveling. Feeling loneliness is one of the most effective cause that push them to gambling. The second reason that get Bachmann gambling is getting attention while Jennifer different. Bachmann is a housewife and wanted to attract her family by showing her skill. When Bachmann talked with her mom, she said "I just wanted to feel good at something. This was the only thing I'd ever done where it seemed like I had a skill" (The Power of Habit 250). Bachmann believed that gambling is the only skill that she had to bring attention to herself. Finally, Jennifer started gambling because she inherited gene from her dad while Bachmann different. Jennifer stated that "I turned gambling because the fond memory of sitting with my father at the bar while helping him play pull-tabs" (A Journey of Success and New Friendships). Jennifer has addiction-related genes from her father; she helps her father in the bar while he gambling.
Moreover, Bachmann and Jennifer share the same effects on their lives such as loss of their money and forget family affairs but Bachmann have another effect which is end up in the court. First of all, compulsive gambling is about winning and losing but Bachmann and Jennifer lost much of their cash unlike what they gained. According to Bachmann "I left the table dazed and I walked to my suite. I trailed a hand along the wall so that if I fell, I'd know which way to lean. When I got to the room, my husband was waiting for me. It's all gone away I told him" (The Power of Habit 267). Jennifer on the other side state "I could never have pictured myself doing the things I did, saying the things I did or spending the money I did'' (A Journey of Success and New Friendships). Bachmann lost all her wealth by gambling she never stopped or take a break to think before continuing gambling. Jennifer explained how trying to recover her money that she had lost through gambling made her instead she ended up losing more. The second effect in their life is forgetting family affairs, Bachmann and Jennifer forgot about important issues in their families but instead concentrated on gambling. Bachmann stated that "My daughters making the same mistakes I had made, getting pregnant too early and spend her family money like me" (The Power of Habit 263). Jennifer said "I could leave home and park my car at the gas station and give my daughter to play with the iPod as I go to play scratch-offs," (A Journey of Success and New Friendships). Bachmann didn't take care of her daughter's life and her daughter become exactly like her while she focused on gambling. Jennifer wouldn't even give time and attention to her daughter when it came to gambling. Finally, Bachmann was even taken to court for failing to pay her debts that accumulated from gambling while Jennifer is different. According to Charles Duhigg in his book of The Power of Habit " The promissory notes she signed bounced, and so Harrah's sued her, demanding Bachmann pay her debts and an additional $375,000" (The Power of Habit 269). This statement explains how gambling has taken root in her life and she wasn't thinking of the risk of being taken to the court.
In the end, Bachmann was not able to defeat her gambling addiction while Jennifer found the recovery because of honesty, thinking about the right priorities and joining gamblers group choice. Firstly, Nakken in his book The Addictive Personality state "The renewal process must start with honestly. The recovering addict honestly and respectfully admits the danger she is living with." (The Addictive Personality 92). The honesty is important because when the addict admits his situation is going to be easy to recover that what happen with Jennifer; She is honestly realize her condition and need quite. According to Jennifer "I began my recovery after my husband gave me an ultimatum. I needed to overcome my addiction in order to save my marriage. It was then I realized I needed to quit" (A Journey of Success and New Friendships). Jennifer honestly accepted that she was an addict of compulsive gambling and start seeking help after she receive a warning paper from her husband while Bachmann never did that. Then, Jennifer explained how joining Gamblers' Choice was benefiting her especially in overcoming gambling. Jennifer said "I met Lucky who became my closest friend and she helped me overcome addiction gambling" (A Journey of Success and New Friendships). Lucky was also a victim of addictive gambling who kept Jennifer in check to ensure she didn't slide back to gambling while Bachmann didn't try that.
Finally, Jennifer focused on the right priorities in her life; she was scared that she could lose her family if she was not gone to stop gambling. Jennifer said "If I could go back, I wouldn't ask for the money back. I would ask for the time with my kids and for honesty and trust to have never been a question with my husband." (A Journey of Success and New Friendships). Jennifer realized her family was of great importance to her life than gambling and she had to do everything to safeguard it.
In analyzing this subject, addictive gambling has its causes, effects, and ways of overcoming the habitual cycle. From the scenarios above, it was established that loneliness, getting attention and genetic are the major contributors to this condition. Bachmann and Jennifer share same loneliness feeling and they are different with other causes. Addictive gambling causes many effect in the gambler life such as their money, forgetting family affairs and ending up in court. Bachmann and Jennifer share same effect in their life such as losing money and family affairs but Bachmann end in court while Jennifer did not. Dealing with compulsive gambling starts with the honestly, joining addiction groups and prioritizing what is important in their lives. Jennifer overcome gambling by accepted her problem and joining addiction group and put her family in the first priority while Bachmann never asked for help to quit gambling. Craic Nakken state "It is important for recovering people to understand their addict has preferred ways of acting out, and that there are danger areas, times, and behavior they need to avoid" (The Addictive Personality 45). The recovering addict needs to avoid seeing anything related to the object to help continue recovering. Jennifer succeed quitting gambling and become help other addicts and that support what California Council on Problem Gambling state "Many women who have sought treatment report much greater satisfaction with their lives than ever before" (Problem Gambler web). A plentiful number of women become most effective in the community after overcoming from addiction because the potential for great success exists with the proper treatment. It is not late to ask help.