I was wondering if someone could provide me feedback on the thesis statement I have written in regards to comparing my views of Athenian culture based on a few primary sources vs. our course textbook. The thesis statement is the second to last sentence (we were required to conclude the first paragraph with a statement about why all of this information is significant).
Ancient Athens is one of history's greatest examples of being fearless. They were fearless in the sense of trying new methods of political and military organization, as well as very rarely backing down from military expiditions. Athens was the world's first society to form a democracy, meaning they limited the authority of the aristocracy and allowed other citizens to actively participate in public life (Levack, 2011: 82-83). Military innovations they pursued dealt with the adopotion of the hoplite fighting style as well as creating the strongest naval force among all of the poleis during that time period. Athenian life during this time was largely centered around political and military organizations. Through an analysis of ancient Athens and a comparison between sources from Thucydides' The History of the Peloponnesian War and our course textbook, it can be said that Thucydides' documents provide an accurate representation of ancient Athenian culture. This information is significant while learning about ancient Athens because, while our textbook provides great deals of information about the culture, having primary sources to reflect upon the text helps to make the information more concrete and easier to comprehend.