Problem
Read this excerpt and respond to the questions below:
Republican and Democrat. Dog lover and cat lover. Mountains and beach. Catholic and Muslim. A lot of people with opposite likes and beliefs are happy and content in their relationships. But can couples with polar opposite financial habits merge their spending and find a way to make it all work? Can love overcome financial incompatibility?
One Side: Okay, here's the deal, the way I look at things. My parents are an upper-class family, and I admit I've been a bit spoiled my whole life. I had the privilege of going to private schools, I graduated from college without any student loan debt, and my parents bought me a car for my college graduation gift. I got my first credit card when I was in high school, and I admit that they have always paid the balance for me every month. I guess I'm not that worried about when we get married because, first of all, it's not like she or her parents are going to help with the wedding or anything-yes, it's going to be lavish, but my parents are paying for it, so we won't have any debt from that. Also, my parents have said that they'll always be there to help us, so I'm not even worried about when we get married-money has never been anything to me, and I think that's the way things will continue after we get married.
The Other Side: I grew up on a farm in a rural area. Money was always tight. Always. We never went without, but I never remember a time when my mom bought name brands at the grocery store-she always bought the generic brands to save money, and for as long as I can remember, she clipped coupons out of the newspaper to help "find pennies" wherever she could. I'm worried because I don't think my fiancée has a realistic picture of what finances and household expenses really are. ... To her, when she spends, it's like spending Monopoly money because she's never had to earn it or even touch it! It always just appears in her bank account, like it's magic or something. I've tried to talk to her about it; I want us to both be aware of our spending beliefs and styles. I want to have a financial plan in place before we're married. I want each of us to have a good understanding of personal finance. I want to establish a realistic spending plan. But I don't think it's possible. I love her to death, but I'm wondering if there's such a thing as financial incompatibility? Will it always be the issue we're struggling with in our marriage? I don't earn what her dad does-and I don't think I'll ever make that kind of money.
Your Side: Good communication is the key to any lasting relationship, and communicating about money is no exception. Given this couple's differences in their experiences with money,
A. Do you believe that compatibility in this area is too important to ignore?
B. If you were friends with this couple, or if you were working with them as their financial planner, how would you best advise them? Would you suggest they have joint bank accounts and credit cards or separate ones? Why?
C. Will their marriage work? Why or why not?