Assignment
The prompt is "In an argumentative essay, support, refute, or complicate the claim that the surveillance of consumers by retail anthropologists is manipulative and unethical."
Make it into a Rough Draft 1,000 words that I did in prewriting.
Argumentative Essay Prewriting
Make it to MLA Format
1. In my opinion, I support the claim that, Surveillance of consumers by retail anthropologists is manipulative and unethical.
2. Three main reasons that makes me support this claim are:
1. Ease of access to goods and services- Strategic location of goods make it easy for customers to pick good on their own without much consultation. Items should be strategically placed where consumer can easily get access to them in order avoid surveillance.
2. Increased cost of operations- Surveillance of customers is an extra duty and responsibility to the operations of business. Expanding business operation cost with activities that can be eliminated is not necessary.
3. Privacy in shopping- Some customers might not be wailing to get exposed on what they pick from shelves since there is believe of intimidation. Especially, ladies may not want to disclose what they buy to either boyfriends. There is that feeling that shopping of some items is private and should not be interfered with.
3. Thesis statement: Having surveillance on stores increases cost of operations while reducing profit maximization to business owners due to purchase, installation and personnel to monitor.
4. Three quotes/ examples to back up my three points are; "...there are customers who cannot make right decision when they are aware that they are being monitored...", "...customers feel there is no privacy as freedom of choice is being disclosed to others people...", "... there is no right of being left alone when selecting confidential items that do not need disclosure to others..."
5. Conclusion: Business surveillance is quite good but should not interfere with customers' privacy. When business operation is introduced to interfere with customer rights, it has to be discussed before being used with all stakeholders.
One of the student told me this: Hi Sheehan, thank you for your sharing. At first, I am impressed by your thesis statement because in my opinion, I refute the surveillance of consumers is unethical. However, I enjoyed reading your three main ideas, and your chosen ideas support your thesis statement very well. You show that the surveillance of customers will increase the cost of operations. That's right because its equipment is expensive, and the system also requires an amount of people to follow it and evaluate the data. Based on your the last main point, you state that the surveillance of consumers reduces the privacy in shopping. I agree with your opinion because the feeling of having little privacy while shopping is so uncomfortable. Overall your prewriting is well organized and clear. Hopefully, you will work more in your three main ideas because these ideas are interesting to everyone who looks for the background of the surveillance of consumers.
Need to follow this that you did everything correctly:
Base 1: Unity
1. Is there a clearly stated thesis in the introductory paragraph?
2. Do all the supporting paragraphs back up the thesis?
Base 2: Support
1. Is there specific evidence?
2. Is there plenty of it?
Base 3: Coherence
1. Is there a clear method of organization? (List of items or a time order?)
2. Are transitions used to connect sentences and ideas?
Base 4: Sentence Skills
1. Are there any rough spots where the sentences do not flow smoothly and clearly?
2. Are there any mistakes in grammar, punctuation, or usage?
Government Assignment
In a capitalist "democracy" like the United States, the corporate news media faithfully reflect the dominant class ideology both in their reportage and commentary, even while claiming to be balanced in their coverage of events. How do corporations exercise this power over the media? How have these corporations further consolidated their control over what we see and hear? Please answer both questions, and use the chart below and other sources to help you answer the questions.