Problem: What would be some new knowledge gained in a discussion about the following?
Please just get me started?
Erica started her paragraph off well. She explained it more about the disease instead of talking about maintaining a healthy diet. She ended the conclusion sentence well. It summarized the main idea of the paragraph.
She should talk more about maintaining a healthy diet and how to. I would write a more persuading sentence so that she could grab the reader's attention. She noted that if people consume foods rich with antioxidants, it will help protect their cells from damage, reducing the likelihood of getting this life-threatening disease. She could move this sentence up more, so it talks about maintaining a healthy diet.
My career path is pharmacy technician. If I'm emailing someone, I could compose an effective paragraph. However, it would come in handy more with emailing other doctors if I were to be a doctor.