How might the analysis of the motives underlying these toxic statements serve to escalate the conflict? No abstract, one citation
From another student in which I have to say something referring to their paper. One citation needed. please divide each question.
“Reframing is the process of changing the way a thought is presented so that it maintains its fundamental meaning but it is more likely to support resolution efforts” (Mayer, 2000, p. 132). Complex conflicts require several attempts at reframing (successive reframing). Here is how I broke down four of the listed statements, their underlying meaning and needs as well as a reframed statement:
“I’m sick of your laziness! You never help with the housework!”- This person is feeling overwhelmed. There is a lack of support from the other person and frustration is obvious. This person works hard at keeping the house clean and would appreciate help and appreciation from others. This is not conducive because the language used is criticizing the other party. This person may take it as an attack and therefore the other party’s needs are overlooked. Reframing: It is an overwhelming task to have to clean the house by myself. I would really appreciate if you will take time from your busy schedule to help.
“You look like a homeless person! Your hair is unwashed, your clothes are torn. It’s like you have no self respect”- Again, this statement is attacking the other person. The person sating this is embarrassed by this person and instead of effectively resolving the issue; the conflict will be made worse. Reframing: Hygiene is a very important part of life. You should make a better effort presenting yourself while in public. Looking nice, helps to boost, your self-confidence!
“This might be one of the worst meals you’ve ever cooked!”- This belittles a person and possibly affects their self-esteem. Reframing: I appreciate the meal you cooked, although it is not my favorite.
You never let me watch what I want to watch! We watched your stupid boxing match yesterday, even though that Hallmark special was on, and you knew I wanted to watch it! You are so selfish! The person making the statement might feel like they are always the ones compromising. They give and expect the same in return. Name calling never works. It takes away from the underlying issues causing even more conflict between disputants. Reframing: Since we watched the boxing match yesterday, today I would like to watch that Hallmark special I have been looking forward to seeing. Will you watch it with me?
I look forward to your feedback class on how my reframing efforts might work.
Mayer, B. (2000). The dynamics of conflict resolution: A practitioner’s guide. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.