Discussion : Gregory
An interpersonal communication need that has been revealed to me is self-awareness. Burley-Allen (1995) stated that "Listening to oneself is a basic step toward professional growth and development." Most times we see ourselves making negative statements about ourselves that do not help us grow as individuals and improve our relationship with others. Negative statements do not help ourselves in anyway, neither those we are communicating with.
As I was reading Burley-Allen's book, Listening the Forgotten Skill, I realized that I needed to listen to myself and change some of the negative thoughts and statements that I often communicated to others and that affected by interpersonal skills. The self-examination process allows us to learn when a certain thought process is useful and when is self-defeating (Burley-Allen, 1995, p. 85). As I learned to listen to myself, I realized that I needed to re-shape my behavior. I believed that doing people's favors and saying yes to everyone that asked me for help was the correct thing to do as a Christian. People in church will ask me to volunteer, my answer was yes. My children will ask me to drive them places, my answer was yes.
I developed a unachievable agenda that created stress and discontent. I did not realize I had the power to say no. The stress and tiredness of having so much to do made me feel irritated and frustrated with myself instead of feeling enjoyment for helping others. In the process of learning self-awareness, I learned to accept that I needed to change my way of thinking and re-shape my behavior. This is when I learned that to become self-aware helps to understand that our thought process influences the way we behave. As, I began to say no to the requests of others, I had less on my plate and felt less pressured and more content when doing things for others. This is why it is important to learn self-awareness. If we do not learn to listen to ourselves, we cannot listen to others. "The value of listening to the way we talk to others and ourselves lies in the probability of learning about ourselves and developing our own potential" (Burley-Allen, 1995, p. 95).
Reference
Burley-Allen, M. (1995). Listening: The forgotten skill (2nd ed.). Canada: John-Wiley & Sons, Inc.