To: All employees
From: Lisa Dawn
Subject: September 1 kickoff
September 1st will again mark the start of Hunger Action Month. Each year, the Central Pennsylvania Food Bank recognizes Hunger Action Month by holding a one-month long food drive competition among local area businesses. This year on September 1st we will once again mark the beginning of Hunger Action Month at our company. Last year's competition brought in over 20,000 pounds of food!!!!!! That roughly equals 26,000 meals for families in Central PA! Thank you for your participation and commitment to end hunger in our community!!!!!!!
Penn National Insurance will once again participate in the Corporate Food Challenge August 30 through September 24. Last year, we brought in 1,798 pounds of food! Our goal for this year is 2,500 pounds! You can help change the lives of many families in our community who are having difficulty putting food on the table during these tough economic times.
Bins will be placed in the lobby, and once again we will have competitions each week to see which department will bring in the heaviest amount of food.
Revising an email
1. A general critique of this email.
2. What is the writer's objective?
3. Has the writer achieved her objective?
4. If not, what would you change to help the document achieve the writer's objective?
5. Imagine that you received this email over the weekend, and did not see it until first thing Monday morning, in a crowded email inbox filled with dozens of emails. What key element is missing from this email that could result in recipients not bothering to open and read it?