The first nine principles help us to enhance relationships.
Three Golden Cs – Principle 1: “Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.” This is the only principle that is stated in the negative. We have to stop criticizing, condemning, and complaining before we can begin using the other principles. This does not mean that we cannot correct errors, rather that we set aside the spirit of criticism, condemnation, and complaint.
Red roses of appreciation – Principle 2: “Give honest, sincere appreciation.” The key words are honest and sincere. Individuals do not get tired of being appreciated. Appreciation provides us a way to connect with others.
Wanted poster – Principle 3: “Arouse in the other person an eager want.” Give someone the desire to do something that will benefit both you and the other. The “want to” attitude is better than the “have to” attitude.
Interest bearing note – Principle 4: “Become genuinely interested in other people.” The key word is “genuinely.” When we become genuinely interested in others, we find things in common. A quote in How to Win Friends and Influence People says it best, “If you want others to like you, if you want to develop real friendships, if you want to help others at the same time as you help yourself; keep this principle in mind.”
Smiley faces – Principle 5: “Smile.” A smile can make such a difference. A smile sends messages of acceptance, openness, and contentment. Using a smile at a critical time can instantly change an environment from aggressive to open.
Nameplate – Principle 6: “Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” - Individuals enjoy hearing their names said. The principle says “most important sound” not “most beautiful sound” because we all like to feel important. When someone remembers and calls us by name that makes us feel valued and important.
Earphones/headset – Principle 7: “Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.” Let’s listen to understand rather than listening to respond. There is a big difference. Listening is not just remaining silent while others talk. Listening includes asking questions and encouraging others to talk about themselves.
Microphone with WIIFM (What’s in it for me?) – Principle 8: “Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.” We are normally interested in ourselves. We need to purposely turn the focus away from ourselves and onto others. To discover others’ interests, we must ask, listen, and observe.
Crate stamped “imported” – Principle 9: “Make the other person feel important, and do it sincerely.” The heart of this principle is showing respect for others and communicating that sincere respect. People react positively when treated with respect and dignity. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Every man I meet is my superior in some way, in that I learn from him.”
Which one to you see will be most challenging for you?
What principles do you believe will have the greatest impact in your life?
How can we follow Principle Number 1?
What has to change in our attitude to be able to ‘not’ criticize and complain?