It has often been said that listening is the most important part of communication. The good news is reflective listening is a skill that you can practice and learn. Here are ten tips to help you become a better listener.
Stop talking. You cannot listen if your mouth is moving.
Put the speaker at ease. Break the ice to help the speaker relax. Smile!
Show the speaker you want to listen. Put away your work. Do not look at your watch. Maintain good eye contact.
Remove distractions. Close your door. Do not answer the telephone.
Empathize with the speaker. Put yourself in the speaker’s shoes.
Be patient. Not everyone delivers messages at the same pace.
Hold your temper. Do not fly off the handle.
Go easy on criticism. Criticizing the speaker can stifle communication.
Ask questions. Paraphrase and clarify the speaker’s message.
Stop talking. By this stage, you are probably very tempted to start talking, but do not. Be sure the speaker has finished.
Think of the last time when you had a difficult communication with someone at work or school. Evaluate yourself in that situation against each of the ten items. Discuss which one(s) do you need to improve on the most?