Can I get some help organizing and rewording this?
Autonomy is defined as "independence or freedom, as of the will or one's actions" (Dictionary.com, LLC. 2014, p. xx). This means that we have the freedom to make our own decisions about everything. This includes, how we feel, how we act, and what we think. According to this definition, we are the only ones that can make ourselves feel, act and think the way we do. Therefore, it is no one else's fault but our own for what we do or how we feel and act. There are things that we need to understand about autonomy including the fact that there are times when we wither must be decisive and take control of issues in our relationships, or give control to others and take a passive role in the decision-making. We also have to understand that power and empowerment are learned and developed as we grow and must also understand the differences between them. We also need to realize that there are times when we give our autonomy away. These are the parts of autonomy that will be discussed through this paper.
In all relationships, there is always a controlee and a controller, and in a relationship, that is already unstable control can be an issue; these include: money/property/and wealth, children, health (physical and mental), loss of love/intimacy, growth (personal and professional) and fear (physical, emotional, and psychological). To make a relationship work, there must be a controller and a controlee in all of these areas. You have to decide which one you are on all of these issues and if you are ok being that way. Yes, to be the controlee is seen as giving up some autonomy on certain issues and in certain situations and according to Philips that is the only way a relationship will be successful (Phillips & Hitched Media, Inc., 2014).
The difference between people who are powerful and empowering is this. Power assumes the right to control others in any way. Empowerment does not assume the power to control. In fact, empowerment is taking responsibility for ourselves and the choices we make for ourselves (Mathews, L.P.C, 2011). A powerful or controlling attitude is learned as a child when the child is given control over the behaviors and emotions of the parents. These children can ultimately grow up to be bullies but learn very early how to manipulate people to get what they want. Personal empowerment does not need the control of power. Empowerment understands that despite whatever anyone else may do or say, it is up to that person to make himself or herself ok, that happiness and peace of mind come from within us. What they fail to see is that you made the choice to do it. The empowered person knows that the choice is theirs with every ounce of their being.
In relationships, especially traditional relationships of a man and woman, the man is typically supposed to take care of everything and the woman is supposed to be submissive to her husband (partner). So, yes there are times when we do give our autonomy away. Some are so dependent upon others that they feel as if their lives are out of control and feel lost, confused, manipulated and needy (Cohen, 2012). They also feel as if their lives are missing some important part but they do not know what that piece is. What is worse is that because they do not understand what is missing, they do not know how to regain it or how to attain it. Giving up too much of our autonomy can lead to a person having no sense of purpose or direction. There is a problem with having too little dependence on others as well. Relying too little on others keeps us from attaining our goals, but being self-empowering means having a delicate balance of dependence on others.
Autonomy is an important part of our personality. Sometimes we give it away to others. Other times we are so autonomous that we feel the need to control and manipulate other people. There is a fine line between being powerful and empowering. When you are powerful, you tend to control or manipulate people to get what you want or to make you happy. Being an empowering person shows no control or abuse of power. That person is self-assured and knows that they are the only person that can make them act and feel the way they do. We give our autonomy away when we let others control our actions and feelings. While some of us are dependent on others, some of us are independent, and there is a delicate balance between the two.