Assignment: Win-Win Conflict Resolution/Problem-Solving
Case Study
Frank and Frances have been friends for many years, and they have always enjoyed weekly dinners together and an annual camping trip to the White Mountains. Frances has a very busy work schedule and has been working a lot of overtime recently to help pay down her debt. A few of months ago, Frances started working part-time on the weekends at a local animal shelter to earn extra money. Frank recently retired and received a generous severance package from his employer. He is irritated with Frances because she is always working and has backed out of their weekly dinner arrangements three weeks in a row. He is also upset because Frances told him she could afford to go on their annual camping trip this year and would have to cancel. Frank is worried that Frances may be trying to avoid him and is just using work as an excuse. Frances thinks Frank is being selfish because he has too much free time. She thinks Frank is being insensitive to her needs. Neither Frank nor Frances have said anything about their feelings at this point.
Part 1: Apply Steps of Conflict Resolution
Complete each of the following seven steps to apply the win-win problem-solving method to resolve the conflict described in the Case Study above. You may choose to be Frank or Frances for this assignment. Describe the two-way dialogue that takes place (i.e., include what Frank would say AND what Frances would say).
Step I: Identify your unmet needs. Begin the conversation by briefly stating your concerns.
Step II: Make a date. (Two-way dialogue to confirm a time and place that will make it easiest for both people to work constructively on the issue.)
Step III: Describe your problem and needs. Use behavior-interpret-feel-consequence-intention format (clear message format). Avoid proposing specific means or solutions at this point.)
Step IV: Ask the other person to show that she or he understands you and include their response (use paraphrasing). (two-way dialogue)
Step V: Consider your partner's point of view. Ask the other person to describe their needs and describe their response.
Check your understanding of what they have said (paraphrase).
Step VI: Negotiate a solution. (include two-way dialogue for each component)
i. Restate the needs of both parties, just to be sure they are clear.
ii. Work together to brainstorm a few possible solutions that might satisfy the needs of each party.
iii. Evaluate each of the solutions generated, considering the advantages and disadvantages of each. If you think of any new solutions, record them.
iv. Decide on the best solution and record it.
Step VII: Follow up on the solution. (After a trial period, meet with the other part to see if the agreement is satisfying your needs and their needs. If not, return to step 3 and use this procedure to refine your solution).
Part 2: Analysis
Analyze the problem-solving process:
I. How did this conflict resolution process differ from the how you usually deal with interpersonal conflicts? Be specific.
II. Was the outcome of this problem-solving session different from what it might have been had you communicated in your usual conflict resolution style? If yes, describe why. If no, explain why not.