How to win friends and influence people


Discussion:

How to Win Friends and Influence People (How to Lead Change Without Resistance or Resentment Discussion)

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Background:

Here we are! At the end of HTWF. Up to this point, we have covered a tremendous amount of material, and have turned inward to examine our own tendencies, and how we can be our own worst enemies at times.

We are moving forward while keeping in mind:

1. Avoiding outward criticism/condemnation/complaining, affirming the good in others, and connecting to core desires.

2. Taking the opportunity to connect with others and show interest in other peoples' lives is paramount in the communication process.

3. Recognizing the behaviors that undermine our own successes, and how we can use them to our advantage (both professionally and personally).

Discussion Assignment:

One paragraph always sticks out to me from Chapter 3 in Part 4 of HTWF:

"Leaders of all kinds have a fantastic tool available to them for sending a subtle message about the behavior they are trying to encourage. They simply have to model that behavior themselves. And if they do not, the message to those around them will be loud and clear: "I'll tell you I want you to behave in such a way, but it's not actually that important. Otherwise, I would do it myself."

• What is your interpretation of the paragraph?

• This is classic, "leading by example." Please share examples of personal encounters of someone who wanted you to behave a certain way, but did not do so themselves. What was your response and how did it make you feel? Did it influence your performance in any way?

• If you were in a position of leadership and wanted to facilitate change, what do you feel are the most meaningful ways you can do so in addition to leading by example?

• Why do you think leading by example can be so difficult?

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