Assignment task:
How to make this reflective writing better?
The third year is supposed to be the final push to showcase what you've learned throughout the course; however, I felt disheartened having repeated Semester Two of the Second Year. Those I knew had graduated, and here I was amid unfamiliar faces. I had mixed feelings of anxiety, pessimism, and a sense of contentment. I self-loathed for a while - which delayed the progression of my research - but I acknowledged that feelings come and go, but the decisions I make have a ripple effect. The conscious realisation of the power of choice allowed me to see my empirical project with new eyes. It was a challenge because I had a big problem with self-sabotage. I had a great fear of failure, which shaped the trajectory of my life, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy where what I feared the most came to fruition. Understanding that failure is a natural part of growth, I committed to not seeing it as discouragement but as an opportunity to learn and try again. Adopting the mentality of "I CAN EXCEL!" understanding I do not have to be bound by my past experiences!
The main deadline for ethics was the 26th of October 2023. I did not meet this deadline, though I had a draft. The initial feeling of anxiety came over me, but I was assured by the module leader not to worry, as there was a one-week extension. Once I submitted my ethics, I felt at ease knowing I was one step closer to completing my empirical project, I also understood that rushing to meet the main deadline only for it not to be approved would waste more time. "Haste can bring disgrace" impulsivity doesn't give room for careful consideration, it's better to do something properly without the need to go over it than to rush. I found this to be true when my ethics was approved, with the help of my supervisor who was diligent in her proofreading and helpful in her feedback. At the time, it didn't dawn on me that the lack of organisation was the reason things weren't done at the appointed time.
Subsequently, I realised the importance of a plan, I emphasised the need for a sustainable routine to excel in my work. The saying "failing to plan is planning to fail" is one thing that could not happen. I acknowledged the necessity of meeting with my supervisor, though I tended to withdraw when I felt overwhelmed. It was vital for me to remind myself that I am not alone and that I have someone who is there to support me and address my concerns.
I received an email from my supervisor,
"I've created a template for a work plan for the project and a project log and am sending it to all of my project students."
It was perfect because I was overstimulated with the number of things that needed to be done, the work plan was useful for me to visually see that everything I needed to do could be done in the time I had. Looking back, I've seen the importance of planning and have since invested in a planner for both my academic and personal life, it has provided me with clarity and a sense of direction. No longer am I dreading but staying present in the process knowing I have actively helped myself.