Assignment Task:
- At least 400 words
- At least two scholarly citations in APA format.
- Any sources cited must have been published within the last five years.
- Acceptable sources include the Bible, course texts, relevant books, and peer-reviewed articles.
Reply to Tamadj
Differentiating Marital Myths from Facts About Marriage: A Biblical and Clinical
Perspective:
Marriage, as both a divine covenant and a human relationship, is often surrounded by cultural assumptions, emotional expectations, and inherited myths. These misconceptions rooted in family upbringing, media portrayals, and societal ideals can profoundly affect how couples approach conflict, intimacy, and commitment. As Wright (1992) explains, many premarital couples enter marriage with unrealistic expectations that, if left unaddressed, can lead to disillusionment and dissatisfaction. Therefore, identifying and challenging marital myths is not simply an intellectual exercise but a crucial spiritual and emotional preparation for marriage. Integrating insights from Wright (1992), Olson's PREPARE/ENRICH model, and Scripture allows couples to replace faulty beliefs with biblical truth and evidence-based understanding, fostering a healthy, Christ-centered view of marriage.
Myth 1: "If We Love Each Other Enough, Everything Will Work Out"
One of the most pervasive myths among engaged couples is the belief that love alone sustains a marriage. Wright (1992) cautions that emotional attraction or romantic love, though vital, is not sufficient to maintain a lifelong commitment. He asserts that "love is not the sole ingredient for a successful marriage; it must be accompanied by understanding, self-discipline, and faith in God's purpose for the relationship" (p. 47). Similarly, Olson's PREPARE/ENRICH model identifies "idealistic distortion" a tendency to view one's partner or relationship through overly positive lenses as a key predictor of later marital dissatisfaction.
From a biblical standpoint, this myth contrasts sharply with the biblical definition of love found in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV), which emphasizes patience, kindness, forgiveness, and truth rather than mere emotion. Love in the biblical sense is a verb a continual act of sacrifice, not a fleeting feeling. Thus, while love is foundational, Scripture teaches that enduring marriages are built on commitment, humility, and godly character. A couple grounded in this understanding can move from infatuation to covenantal love, the kind that reflects Christ's enduring relationship with the Church (Ephesians 5:25-33).
Myth 2: "Good Marriages Don't Have Conflict"
Another damaging myth is that conflict signifies incompatibility or relational failure. Wright (1992) confronts this misconception directly, stating that healthy marriages are not devoid of conflict but are characterized by constructive conflict resolution. Conflict, he argues, is an inevitable part of the union of two imperfect individuals and serves as a growth opportunity when managed biblically and respectfully. The PREPARE/ENRICH program echoes this principle, highlighting that couples who develop effective communication and problem-solving skills demonstrate significantly higher marital satisfaction than those who avoid confrontation.
The Bible also supports this realistic approach. Proverbs 27:17 declares, "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." This verse illustrates that friction, when handled with grace and humility, strengthens both individuals and their relationship. Ephesians 4:26 further advises, "In your anger do not sin," affirming that conflict itself is not sinful it is how one responds that determines spiritual and relational health. The goal of counseling, then, is not to eliminate conflict but to teach couples to engage it constructively, applying principles of forgiveness, empathy, and reconciliation (Colossians 3:13). In doing so, couples mirror God's redemptive work within their relationship.
Myth 3: "My Spouse Will Complete Me"
This romanticized notion, often reinforced by media and culture, implies that one's emotional fulfillment depends on a spouse. Wright (1992) challenges this myth, noting that emotional wholeness cannot come from another person but must be rooted in spiritual maturity and self-awareness. He emphasizes that individuals must address personal insecurities, family-of-origin issues, and spiritual needs before marriage. Olson's PREPARE/ENRICH similarly includes assessments on individual closeness and flexibility, identifying whether partners are entering marriage with unrealistic dependency or autonomy expectations.
From a biblical perspective, the belief that a spouse "completes" an individual conflicts with Scripture's teaching that wholeness comes through Christ alone. Colossians 2:10 (NIV) reminds believers, "In Christ you have been brought to fullness." While marriage is designed for companionship (Genesis 2:18), it is not the ultimate source of identity or purpose. When individuals expect a spouse to meet emotional or spiritual needs only God can fulfill, disappointment is inevitable. Instead, a biblically grounded marriage consists of two spiritually whole individuals who join together to reflect God's image and glorify Him through unity and mutual service.
Myth 4: "Marriage Will Solve My Problems"
Many individuals mistakenly assume that marriage will bring stability, security, or healing to preexisting personal struggles. Wright (1992) warns that unresolved issues whether emotional wounds, addiction, or unresolved family conflicts are often magnified rather than diminished by marriage. Likewise, the PREPARE/ENRICH assessment identifies patterns such as "personal stress" and "family-of-origin issues" that, if ignored, can undermine the marital foundation. The myth that marriage is a cure-all fails to account for the spiritual and psychological work required for growth and healing before union.
A biblical worldview underscores that personal transformation precedes healthy relationships. Romans 12:2 urges believers to be "transformed by the renewing of your mind," suggesting that maturity, self-awareness, and sanctification are prerequisites for covenantal partnership. God uses marriage as a context for growth, not as a replacement for personal discipleship. In fact, unresolved sin or immaturity can distort marital dynamics, leading to patterns of blame, withdrawal, or control. Therefore, premarital counseling rooted in Scripture and self-examination allows couples to confront individual issues honestly before they intertwine within the marriage.
Myth 5: "Strong Faith Guarantees a Perfect Marriage"
While faith is essential to a Christian marriage, it does not exempt couples from challenges. Wright (1992) asserts that spiritual unity provides direction and resilience but must be accompanied by practical relational skills. Olson's PREPARE/ENRICH affirms this through its spiritual beliefs category, showing that shared faith correlates with satisfaction, yet success still depends on intentional effort, empathy, and communication.
Biblically, Matthew 7:24-25 presents a balanced perspective: "Everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock." The key phrase puts them into practice illustrates that hearing truth is insufficient without active obedience. Couples who build on Christ as their foundation while practicing humility, forgiveness, and grace demonstrate both faith and wisdom. A faithful marriage is not free of storms but stands firm because it is anchored in Scripture and lived out daily.
Conclusion
Differentiating marital myths from truth requires both biblical discernment and practical preparation. Wright (1992) and Olson's PREPARE/ENRICH framework provide invaluable tools for equipping couples to replace illusions with understanding. Love alone does not sustain marriage; conflict is not failure; and no human partner can fulfill the deepest needs only God can meet. Through faith, self-awareness, and intentional growth, couples can enter marriage with realistic expectations and Christ-centered hope. Ultimately, a biblical worldview transforms marriage from a self-focused pursuit of happiness into a covenant that mirrors God's redemptive love one built not on myth, but on truth. Need Assignment Help?
References:
Olson, D. (n.d.). Prepare/Enrich certification training. Minneapolis, MN: Prepare/Enrich.
The Holy Bible, New International Version. (2011). Zondervan. (Original work published 1978).
Wright, N. H. (1992). The premarital counseling handbook. Moody Publishers.