Problem
If each really counts as one, and I can save a life by giving a hundred dollars to a well run charity, am I not required to do so? Would I every be able to spend $100 on a date night that is just mildly enjoyable, when I could be relieving massive suffering?
Normally when people make heroic levels of personal sacrifice to help others we think of them as saints, moral heroes; they have gone above and beyond the call of duty (Actions above and beyond are called "supererogatory"). But in the Utilitarian framework, people of radical self-giving like mother Theresa may not be saints, they may just be one of the few moral people on earth, and the rest of us are morally bankrupt, living as though we and our close family and friends are all that matters.
Can you see a way, in a utilitarian framework, for ordinary acts of lavishing attention on friends and family, such as money spent on a birthday dinner, can be justified? Is there a way for something like ordinary life to be possible?