HABIT 1: BE PROACTIVE
1. For a full day, listen to your language and to the language of the people around you. How often do you use and hear reactive phrases such as "if only," "I can't," or ""I have to"? Keep a journal, briefly discuss occasions when you heard these phrases, especially ones where you used reactive language yourself.
2. Pick a problem that is a frustration to you. Write it down. Then:
(a) identify any "if only" Circle of Concern thoughts or reactive language you may use to escape responsibility for the problem
(b) what might you do to expand your Circle of Influence in this situation?
3. Select a problem from your work, school or personal life that is frustrating to you. Determine whether it is a direct, indirect or no control problem. Identify the first step you can take in your Circle of Influence to solve it and then take that step.
PART I.
Think of a behavior you've had a hard time changing. Use each of the three reactive explanations, the three deterministic explanations, to explain why you haven't changed. Try to make convincing arguments for why you haven't changed using the three theories of determinism (Genetic, Psychic, and Environmental). Be creative with this exercise. Don't just say, "I was born that way," and be done with it. Elaborate a bit. Tell why you believe that and what the evidence is. The more fun you have with this exercise, the more you'll learn.
A. Give a genetic explanation. In other words, explain that you can't change because that's just the way you are. You were born that way. You are just like your ancestors.
B. Give a psychic explanation. Explain that you can't change because your parents raised you that way.
C. Give an environmental explanation. Explain that you can't change because someone or something else is really causing the problem.
PART II
A. Now explain proactively why you've not managed to make the change.
B. How does your explanation for a weakness or a challenge make a difference in how you respond to it?
HABIT 2: BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND
List someone in each of the following categories. For each person, write what you want him or her to say about you at your funeral. What contributions and achievements would you want for them to remember?
What difference would you like to have made in their lives?
1. Family member (parent, sibling, nephew, niece, aunt, uncle, cousin, etc.)
2. Friend
3. Someone from your job or if you do not work, from school (professor, instructor, advisor)
Personal Mission Statement
Draft your own personal mission statement. Ponder what you want to have accomplished at the end of your life and the things you would like people to be able to say about your accomplishments and the way your life was lived.
Use these reflections to help you determine what you believe your mission should be.
When you finish the exercise, print it and put it in your journal.
HABIT 3: PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST
1. Identify a Quadrant II activity you know has been neglected in your life--one that if done well, would have a significant impact in your life, either personally or professionally (school). Write it down in your journal and commit to implement it.
2. Make a list in your journal of responsibilities you would delegate in order to have more time to spend on the above activity and the people you would delegate to. Determine what is needed to start the process of delegation.
These might be responsibilities you could delegate to a roommate or spouse, responsibilities within a campus organization, within a study group, etc. Use your imagination.
Suggestions for effective Time Management:
1. Draw a Time Management Matrix and estimate what percentage of time you spend in each of the four quadrants. Evaluate how your time is spent focusing on what quadrant you spend most of your time in.
2. Commit yourself to start organizing on a weekly basis and set up a regular time to do it.
3. Organize your next week. Start by writing down your roles and goals for the week and then transfer the goals to a specific action plan. At the end of the week, evaluate how well your plan worked. Were you able to maintain your values and purpose?
HABIT 4: THINK WIN/WIN
1. Select a specific relationship where you would like to develop a win/win agreement. Try to put yourself in the other person's place and write down explicitly how you think that person sees the solution. Then list, from your own perspective, what results would constitute a Win for you. When you are ready to talk to the person, ask if he/she would be willing to communicate until you reach a point of agreement and mutually beneficial solution. You may find an opportunity to share some of what you've learned with that person.
2. Identify three (3) key relationships in your life. Give some indication of what you feel the balance is in each of the Emotional Bank Accounts (for example, very high, high, low, very low, overdrawn, etc.). Write down some specific ways that you could make deposits in each account.
3. Deeply consider your own scripting. Is it win/lose? lose/win? lose/lose? How does that scripting affect your interactions with other people?
4. Try to think of someone you know who, even in hard situations, really seeks mutual benefit--thinks win/win. Make a point to watch and learn from that person's example.
HABIT 5: SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD
1. Identify a situation in which you could immediately apply the skill and attitude of empathy.
2. What benefit could result from your use of empathy in this situation?
3. What is likely to happen if you do not use empathy?
HABIT 6: SYNERGIZE
Valuing Differences:
1. Make a list of people who irritate you. Do they represent different views that could lead to synergy if you had greater intrinsic security and valued the difference?
2. Think about a person who typically sees situations differently from the way you do. With Habit 6: Synergize and the principles of valuing the difference in mind, what can you do to benefit more from the differences this person presents?
Third Alternative:
Described below is a situation in which two people are trying to come to agreement about an issue. This situation is stated as a "polarizing issue," meaning that both people can't win. Your goal is to begin looking at deeply felt wants in an effort to find a win/win solution. Create "want lists" and then, from the wants list, see if you can create a third alternative which allows both parties to win.
Teenager's position:"I want to own my own car."
Parent's position: "I don't want my child to have a car."
Teenagers want list (example: freedom):
Parents want list (example: to know child is safe):
Third Alternative:
Now choose a real situation you are currently facing and go through this exercise. Remember that your goal is not a compromise, but is instead, to find a win/win alternative.
Person A's want list:
Person B's want list:
Third Alternative:
Attachment:- 7 habits beginning.rar